


maybe we'll turn to gold

by wae



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Humor, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Nude Photos, Photographer Yoo Kihyun, Photography, Pining, changki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-12 16:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21479212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wae/pseuds/wae
Summary: As a photographer, it's Kihyun's second nature to find and capture a subject, and Changkyun just so happens to be the most fascinating being in the room.
Relationships: Lim Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

An instigator. That's always been Minhyuk's predisposition and no one is safe from the fact that he somehow manages to mess up innocent people's routines because of it. Take, for example, Kihyun is busy stressing over his midterms project one night when he's interrupted by the storm that is Lee Minhyuk.

"I heard that you still haven't found a model for that photography contest," he inquires mischievously, propping his elbows on the study desk where Kihyun's DSLR and phone rests. “You must be _ veeery _ pressured.”

‘Pressured’ is an understatement. More like, Kihyun has been tearing his hair out because of this for weeks. He grabs his phone from the desk and wryly smiles at Minhyuk. “Yes, and you really aren’t helping, either.”

Kihyun's been desperate for the last few days, scouring his contacts to see if anyone's willing to work with him on this very important project, but apparently, the prospect is too embarrassing, perhaps even scary, for all of them.

You see, their midterms for photography class was to submit an entry for the upcoming contest organized by the Fine Arts Department. The photos would then be exhibited on the campus, but of course, winning it meant getting a flat 1.0 as a grade.

However, this wasn’t just the run of the mill photography project.

It was a nude photography project, which is most probably why Kihyun is now a world record holder for most rejections received in a three-day span. He's definitely not a pervert even if Minhyuk calls him one on a daily basis.

Hyungwon had been his last hope, Kihyun considered him family, and he was an actual model to top it all off, but even he of all people had shunned Kihyun away.

As if reading his thoughts, Minhyuk pipes in with his screechy exclamation, “To be fair, who in their right mind would agree to—”

Kihyun shushes him by shoving a hand onto his blabbering mouth, just as the call on his phone connects. "Hello? Got any good news to bring?"

"Right. Okay. So, I know a girl," Jooheon gets down to business immediately. He, too, had refused Kihyun, but at least he’s actually helping like the friend he is. "Do you know Hyorin-noona? She _ might be _willing to do it but she also might kick your ass."

As a matter of fact, Kihyun does know Hyorin. She's a master’s degree student that's notorious for being the leader of a girl gang and is basically a force to be reckoned with. He shudders at the thought of his bones being crushed at the impact of her perfectly-manicured hands.

"I think I'll pass on that one," Kihyun weakly says into the receiver. "Thanks for the help, though."

"Ah, well, call me if you change your mind, hyung."

"I won't and you know that. See you, Joo." As soon as the words leave Kihyun’s mouth, Minhyuk’s already pulling a Cheshire Cat grin. Uh-oh. Things are not looking good.

"Aight. I'll keep you posted if I find more potential candidates," Jooheon finishes, then the phone call ends and it’s time for Kihyun to face the glaring reality of his best friend’s stupid face.

Minhyuk coils his fingers around Kihyun’s shoulder, like a broker prepositioning a client. "You know, Kihyun, my dearest companion, my brother from another mother, I may just have the perfect specimen for you."

"Lee Minhyuk-ssi, you would be saving my life right now if that is the case."

"What's in it for me?"

Of course. A favor from Minhyuk doesn’t come easy. It never does, but Kihyun is desperate, and a little bribing won’t hurt anybody. He sighs. "Your coffee expenses are on me for a week."

Minhyuk narrows his eyes as if to say, _ ‘that’s all?’ _ "Make it two."

"Ten days. Take it or leave it."

"Deal."

They shake hands to seal the pact, but little does Kihyun know that Minhyuk has set him up for something even greater.


	2. Chapter 2

Kihyun's alarm takes him out of his slumber, the incessant _ beep-beep-beep _ ing followed by Minhyuk's pleads of _ Ki, turn it off, Ki, I need some damn sleep. _ He quite literally drags his soul out of bed though it proves to be a struggle because of the exhaustion weighing him down. Why did Mondays have to be so hard?

Granted, it’s a bit earlier than the rest of the world’s usual waking hour (read: 7 freaking A.M on the dot) but Kihyun likes to start his day systematically, cooking and cleaning and jostling Minhyuk awake. They groggily sit down for breakfast as they always do, but last night’s conversation has Kihyun high in anticipation.

“So,” Kihyun begins, poking at the center of his sunny-side up with a fork. He has to make it look like this whole thing isn’t a big deal for him, so he acts as aloof as possible in front of Minhyuk’s eyes that can pick up even the smallest hints.

"Im Changkyun," Minhyuk says through a mouthful of toast.

"What?" The yolk of the egg starts to run on his plate, and Kihyun darts between his food and the crumbs of bread gathering around Minhyuk's mouth.

After a few crunching bites, Minhyuk explains, "Im Changkyun, the friend that I told you before. I'm around 70% sure that he'll agree to help you with your project." 

Kihyun gets lost into space. How did Minhyuk know he was going to bring that up? He hasn't even said anything yet.

He switches focus to his coffee, stirring to the point of no return. This could very much be his last hope, so he’s counting on the odds to be in his favor. "I really need the rest of that 30% chance, though."

"I never promised a full guarantee, Ki. But I think he might just do it considering how much he likes to flaunt his body," Minhyuk replies. He's still eating messily so Kihyun crumples up a napkin into a ball and hurls it at his chin.

“You haven’t eaten much,” Minhyuk comments, smoothing the balled-up napkin with his palms. A bad habit of his, Kihyun gets restless when he’s nervous. He grudgingly shovels a spoonful of rice into his mouth. 

"If we're basing it by that then maybe I'd have Hoseok-hyung working with me by now."

"Nah, too innocent for that," Minhyuk shakes his head, wiping his face clean in the process. "If anything, I thought Hyunwoo-hyung would agree but he straight up asked if you had a loose screw. Tough luck."

Honestly, not even the saintly Hyunwoo would say yes to _ that _kind of photoshoot, but Kihyun's still salty about it. "A betrayal of our friendship, that's what it is," he huffs.

Waving a hand, Minhyuk steers the conversation back to their original goal. "Anyway, we're meeting Changkyun later for lunch in the Japanese restaurant down the block, maybe bribe him with some sushi?" Kihyun dubiously looks at him so he follows up with, "It'll work out well, Ki, just trust me."

Those words are always the catalyst to a brand new kind of trouble waiting to unfold. Kihyun frowns. "Remember the last time I trusted you?"

"I believe you got laid when that happened," Minhyuk looks up to the ceiling thoughtfully, recalling the night he played wingman for an unwilling Kihyun in a bar.

"Not that," Kihyun smacks his forehead. "I'm talking about the Great Music Club Fiasco of '18 when we had to do 60 hours of community service for damaging campus equipment!"

"Ohhh," the recognition sets in Minhyuk's face belatedly. "That one, huh. Good times, good times."

Kihyun groans at the memory. That was an era he will always remember. He's never ever swept and mopped more floors than during that time. "Yes, that one. But this is a different matter, and you're probably my only hope right now, so please—"

"Don't fuck this up," they both say in unison. 

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Minhyuk snorts. If we’re counting, he’s already heard those words a thousand times before. "Don't I always save your ass in your times of need?"

Kihyun has to admit he's right, though, because, really, even though Minhyuk's an insufferable little shit, he never lets Kihyun go through his obstacles alone.

-•-

_ Im Changkyun has no business looking this good. _

That's the first thing that pops up in Kihyun's mind the instant he and Minhyuk walk into the restaurant. He has a certain allure and an enigmatic charm about him, a gravitational pull that makes someone want to break through his defenses and explore him. Kihyun so, so desperately wants him to be his model. It has to be him, no matter what.

"Let's cut to the chase," Kihyun blurts out as he's sitting down, "I'm Yoo Kihyun and I'd like you to get naked for me in front of a camera." 

Oh, boy. That came out different than he intended it to be.

Im Changkyun blinks innocently up at him, eyes brown and droopy like a puppy’s. A few seconds pass before he responds. "This is the weirdest porn proposition I've ever gotten." His voice is the perfect mix between teasing and indifferent.

Before Kihyun has a chance to react, Minhyuk springs into action. "You get a lot of porn propositions?" He excitedly asks, resting his chin on his palms.

Changkyun snorts. "No, just the one. Jooheon and I were strapped for cash once so he wanted to know if I was cool with doing it with him."

"Were you?"

"Obviously, but he chickened out last minute."

Minhyuk leans in, palms flat against the table like this is fucking news to him. "I'd like to write about the misadventures of your life. Featuring Lee Jooheon, of course."

Damn Journalism majors and their curiosity. They were getting off-topic now. 

"Hey— this isn't the point," Kihyun cuts in before they get sidetracked any further, pulling Minhyuk back into his seat. He grumbles stubbornly.

Crossing his arms and leaning back on the chair, Changkyun clears his throat. “I was told there would be free food involved?”

_ Right. _ That. They were supposed to buy his trust with expensive Japanese dishes. Kihyun can hear his wallet crying already. His two companions must be dead-set on emptying his funds because they order half of the menu while he settles on a measly bowl of Karaage and rice.

While waiting for their orders, Kihyun enviously looks on as Minhyuk and Changkyun chatter endlessly about everything under the sun. _ Those two are a good match together, _ Kihyun contemplates, sighing. He wishes he had Minhyuk’s effortless ability to make people open up to him.

By the time their food arrives and they start digging in, Minhyuk and Changkyun have already bonded through their ten-minute discourse, but that’s not what they came here for today, so Kihyun intends to get this over with once and for all.

"Listen, Changkyun-ssi,” Kihyun sets his chopsticks down, taking on his serious, business-mode persona. He stares directly at Changkyun who’s busy cleaning the plate of ebi nigiri. “I need you to be my model for our nude photography project. I understand that this seems very sudden, but you're the only one I can ask of now. Please, give it some thought."

As Kihyun waits, the seconds seem to tick forever. Changkyun stops chewing, takes a sip from his iced tea. His tone and expression is still as neutral as ever as he speaks. "Hmm… Alright."

"Wait, seriously?" Kihyun sputters, his eyes widening in surprise. The shock registers right away, all of the senses in his body coming alive to dance in celebration at the success of getting what he needs, at long last.

On the other hand, Changkyun looks as bored as can be. "Mmhm."

"Are you really sure about this?!" He can’t fucking believe that this is happening right now, a hundred percent, no-joke. Minhyuk smacks him on the shoulder.

“Dude, he said _ yes _ already, for crying out loud!”

Changkyun stands up. "So, should I be your model or would you rather use up your luck trying to find someone else—"  
  


"No!" Kihyun all but begs.  


  


"That's what I thought,” Minhyuk snickers as Changkyun triumphantly grins. 

"Great.” He grabs his backpack and slings it over his shoulder. ”That's settled, then. I'm leaving first since I have class. Thanks for the treat, hyung."

Minhyuk turns to him. "You are paying for my food too, right?"

Kihyun ignores this, instead, standing up as well and waving to Changkyun. “Let’s meet up again soon, alright?!” Changkyun has already turned away but he waves back, leaving behind a fit of effervescent laughter and promises of a next meeting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short lil update to show mx's dynamics in this, the good stuff will be coming in next chapter!!

"Hey,” Kihyun nudged Minhyuk from where he’s frying a panful of chicken on their electric stove, “you said Changkyun and Jooheon know each other?"

Tonight, their friends were coming over to the apartment for another one of their weekly movie night sessions. Kihyun figures it’s also the perfect opportunity to rub in their faces that he’s found someone willing to help him on the project despite all the rejection he’s faced.

"He's actually Jooheonie's new roommate and they hit it off instantly." Minhyuk shoves Kihyun in return, laughing when he scolds him with a _‘watch it, you ass, I’m holding a knife!’ _

Not only does Kihyun feel left out, but he also has a sneaking suspicion that their whole meeting has been planned all along. He cuts the carrots on the chopping board with even more force. "Why haven't I met him before?"

There’s something sinister in the way Minhyuk winks at him all of a sudden, like Kihyun is not in on a secret that only he knows. "He's in the Science Department, first year."

Jesus Christ. First-year, really? He was making a first-year take off all his clothes and then put it on display for the whole University? _Nice going, Yoo Kihyun. _

"Don't worry," Minhyuk does that weird mind-reading thing of his again, patting Kihyun on the back, "if anyone's going to be a threat here, it's not you. It's him."

What the hell has he gotten himself into? A slapstick comedy motion picture starring him? No matter the outcome, Kihyun expects to see it out until the end, but it doesn't help that the background music of his life is Minhyuk's villainous cackling as he buries his face in his hands.

Just then, the doorbell rings as if on cue, and Minhyuk flees from the scene. “Oh, they’re here,” he announces all too happily as he turns off the stove.

“Yah,” Kihyun shouts, grabbing a ladle and chasing Minhyuk around with it, “we’re not done here!”

  
  


-•-

  
  


Just like any other Saturday evening, they find their places onto either Kihyun’s old, worn-out sofa or the carpeted floor, except this time, there’s a new addition to their group, none other than Changkyun himself. “Hey,” he greets Kihyun, “I came along, hope you don’t mind the surprise appearance.”

“Wha— huh?” Needless to say, Kihyun is stunned. His mouth flops open over and over like a fish, finding the right words to say, but only unintelligible babbling comes out. He hadn’t imagined that the next time they met would be this quickly. He’s not mentally prepared to handle Changkyun yet. Minhyuk shoves him, presumably for being such a lame-ass. “Close your mouth, dude, it’s embarrassing!”

Jooheon raises his hand sheepishly, “Uh, sorry, hyung. I brought him along ‘cause we’re best buds now, ya feel?”

That’s not the problem, Kihyun thinks as he shakes his head. “It’s no problem,” he fixes Changkyun with a polite smile. Any friend of a friend is accepted by default, it’s just that Kihyun sees him as a little more than that. “You’re always welcome to come over, Changkyun-ah.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Hyungwon warns. He’s standing in front of the TV, scrolling through the hundreds of movies in his flash drive. “He’ll just make you clean up the apartment afterwards.”

“Hurry it up,” Minhyuk chimes from the foot of the sofa, “Hoseok-hyung and Hyunwoo-hyung are already stealing food in the kitchen!” Hyunwoo hears this, though, because he yells,_ ‘No, we’re not’ _even though it obviously sounds like he’s chewing.

At the sight of their antics, Changkyun laughs, plopping down comfortably next to Kihyun. “Thanks for the invite, I guess?” He shrugs, facing Kihyun. Someone turns off the lights and the room dims, but Kihyun can clearly see a sparkle in Changkyun’s eyes. Neither of them look away from each other, not even when Kihyun says, “No problem. I’ve got a feeling we’ll be meeting a lot more from now on.”

“Oh, yeah?” A voice interrupts beside him, and Kihyun turns to see Hoseok with a wide, shit-eating grin. “You’ve met Jooheonie’s friend, huh.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “He’s my photography subject, since you said no, remember?”

“No worries,” Hoseok laughs heartily. “Changkyun will do a good job of filling in for me.” At the mention of his name, Changkyun scoffs. “Like I will. Who’s the one with rock-hard abs here?” Hoseok points to himself. “Guilty.”

Gradually, they all settle down in the living room, watching the romance chick flick Hyungwon chose, exchanging cheesy jokes and passing around snacks in the middle of it. With this in sight, Kihyun notices how naturally Changkyun has molded his presence in their little tight-knit circle of friends. It’s as if he’s been here from the start, and Kihyun is infinitely grateful for the events that have led up to this moment, but a tug inside his heart is saying he wants more, a lot more than this. 

Kihyun wonders how greedy he’s allowed to be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, i've been in a bit of a slump lately, but we're getting back into the swing of things now!

"What we need, is a concept."

  
  


Kihyun is poised by the dining table, sketching a very unrefined-looking stickman in the composition notebook he has laid out. Accompanying him are Changkyun and Minhyuk, looking over the plans for the photoshoot. Although Minhyuk isn't exactly needed in this process, he's unfortunately there anyway, because he's also an inhabitant of this apartment and therefore subject to each and every one of Kihyun's trials and tribulations.

  
  


His explanation is met with silence, so Kihyun continues, "Sure, you can just strip and I'll take a picture, say it's art and call it a day, but the essence of photography is about telling a story."

  
  


"Pervert," Minhyuk comments from the side, "there he goes again." Changkyun huffs out an amused laugh while Kihyun shoots him a pointed glare. “As I was saying—” 

  
  


It’s Changkyun who breaks his train of thought next. “I’m thinking glitter, like, lots of it,” he suggests, taking the pen from Kihyun’s hand and adding a bunch of tiny dots and sparkle shapes on the stickman. Minhyuk clicks his tongue, “Maybe I should be in charge of the drawing?” Kihyun and Changkyun both disregard his recommendation. 

  
  


“Actually, that’s not too far from the image I was visualizing,” Kihyun snaps his fingers. He and Changkyun think a lot more similarly than he expected. Smiling, Changkyun props his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his palms. The kid is far too cute for his own good. “Really? What were you thinking of?”

  
  


“Kind of like… a personification of the sun. Or a sculpture? I was planning to use some shiny, metallic yellow body paint for this.” The idea didn’t come to Kihyun immediately before, but when he saw Changkyun for the first time, it started brewing in his mind like a storm that had to be done to fruition.

  
  


“Sounds good to me,” Changkyun hums contentedly.

  
  


“Let’s go with that, then.”

  
  


“Excuse me,” Minhyuk pipes up after watching them converse all this time, waving his hand around to get their attention, “but that’s no fun at all! I thought it would be something kinkier than that!”

  
  


_Here we go. _Kihyun groans. With any opinion that he has, Minhyuk has a counter to every single one of it. He continues his tirade without waiting for Kihyun to speak, knowing that his words will be filled with protest, anyway. “Stop being boring, Ki,” he tuts. “Think about it, there’s so much stuff you could do, it’s nude photography, for crying out loud!”

  
  


For once, Kihyun indulges Minhyuk’s artistic vision or whatever. He does know a thing or two about conceptualization, Kihyun will give him that. “Like what?” he asks exasperatedly. A sleazy grin creeps its way onto Minhyuk’s face as all these crazy schemes begin formulating in that pea brain of his. 

  
  


“Handcuffs, leather, chokers!”

  
  


Why did Kihyun even bother asking again? Changkyun exchanges a look with him. “Aren’t those just his bedroom fantasies?” Agreed. Just as Kihyun thought, he and Changkyun really are in sync, after all. He takes this as a cue to smack Minhyuk upside the head. “Those are just your bedroom fantasies!” 

  
  


Although, Kihyun admits to himself that he wouldn’t mind seeing Changkyun in that sort of get-up sometime soon. His best friend does have bizarre, but interesting ideas every now and then.

  
  


“Everyone’s a critic.” Minhyuk shrugs. With that, he starts moping around, doodling what appears to be a dominatrix wearing a corset in Kihyun’s notebook. Kihyun has already mastered the art of pretending like they’re all sensible adults in the room, so he sits down with Changkyun and gets back to talking business.

  
  


“How about we start with some test shots this week? What day is okay for you?”

  
  


“I’m free on Saturday. We could try out the body-painting and stuff in my dorm since Jooheon-hyung’s sleeping over with his thesis partner that night.”

  
  


Changkyun is so close to Kihyun that he can count all of his eyelashes, so close that he can smell the peach fragrance of his lip balm, and yet, not enough to sate his longing. It’s fine, Kihyun will settle for what he can get, and right now, it’s the taunting back-and-forths he shares with Changkyun to slowly break down their walls around each other. “Cool,” he jokes, “can’t wait to see you with your clothes off.”

  
  


Despite the poor taste of his gag, Changkyun takes it in stride. “Mm-hmm. I look even better without them, or so I’ve been told.”

  
  


“It doesn’t count if you’re the one saying that to yourself,” Kihyun snorts.

A small smirk plays at Changkyun’s lips, and it’s all Kihyun can watch as he wisecracks him again. “You’ll just have to see it to believe it, I guess.” Kihyun’s throat is as dry as the Sahara when he speaks. “I’ll be looking forward to it, then.”

  
  


Still sitting by the dining table, Minhyuk turns to them with his face scrunched up in a disgusted expression and shouts, “Get a room!”

  
  
  
  


-•-

  
  
  
  


As per usual, Kihyun gets up at 7:00 A.M sharp, and Minhyuk is there too, but he’s louder than ever as he keeps drilling into Kihyun’s head so early in the morning that he still owes him ten days’ worth of coffee. Kihyun had forgotten about their bargain, though that’s mostly because he’s too preoccupied with his current infatuation.

  
  


“Changkyun…” Minhyuk mutters. “You’ll be meeting Changkyun later, right?”

Kihyun hides the smile threatening to spill on his face. What’s gotten into him? Just the mere mention of Changkyun’s name makes him all giddy inside now. “Yeah, we’re doing a series of test shots to figure out how the final piece will turn out.”

  
  


“Okay, well, have fun.” Minhyuk is still eyeing him suspiciously, but Kihyun tries to not think too much about it. While Minhyuk is insufferable because of his nosiness, it’s nothing a cup of coffee can’t fix. He’ll just have to treat him to some Starbucks at lunch.

  
  


They go about their separate ways during morning classes, and Kihyun finally buys Minhyuk the first of his many promised doses of caffeine intake. After that, he’s practically rushing to the left wing of the campus where dorm building A is, hauling a very heavy load of his equipment on top of that.

  
  


It takes him several minutes to catch his breath and fix his disheveled appearance before knocking on Changkyun’s door.

  
  


The door opens after what seems like an eternity and Changkyun appears wearing a baggy T-shirt and a pair of boxers. Kihyun stares, no— gapes, is more like it. Changkyun stretches lazily before gesturing to his overstuffed backpack. “Did you pack your entire home inside that bag, or what?”

  
  


“That’s all the stuff I’ve got to use,” Kihyun explains, not at all looking at the sharp collarbones and smooth thighs on display in front of him. Nodding, Changkyun steps aside and holds the door open wider. “Well, come on in.” If he notices Kihyun’s awkwardness, he doesn’t say anything about it, and god, is he thankful for that. 

  
  


One half of the dorm is a total pigsty and the other is spotless and immaculate like the skin of Changkyun’s legs. Kihyun already knows that the mess is all Jooheon’s doing based on years of experience. Subconsciously, he picks up a soda can and chucks it into a trash bin on the way. 

  
  


“Have you eaten, hyung? Do you want to get some food before we start?” Changkyun asks, pouring a glass of water for Kihyun. He’s kind, he’s thoughtful, he’s a good host— could he be any more better? Kihyun smiles to himself as he responds, “I’m all set. What about you, Changkyun-ah?”   
  


“In that case, I’m ready too.”

  
  


They end up on the little bit of empty space next to Changkyun’s bed, Kihyun following him through the narrow corners that make up the dorm. His camera is fixed to a tripod, there’s an assortment of lenses and small containers of paint and glitter laid out and Changkyun is standing shirtless against the white drywall. 

  
  


“So,” he starts, nervously rubbing at his bare arm, “I’ve got no idea what to do. It’s up to you to make me look nice, hyung.”

  
  


Kihyun’s hands flounder a bit while he tampers with the mode dial of his Canon. "I mean, I’ll do my best. I'm not exactly a pro at taking portraits." _ Yet, _he adds in his head. Landscapes have always been his expertise, Kihyun’s still learning the particulars of portrait photography because to be truthful, he finds that capturing the emotions and the story of a person is more complicated than what meets the eye.   
  


  
He’s willing to make an exception for Changkyun, though. Changkyun, whose soft brown eyes are focused on him and his fingers that are fidgeting restlessly due to embarrassment. His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, "I'm not a pro at getting naked and looking pretty either."   
  


  
_No, _Kihyun wants to tell him,_ you're beautiful, you're great, you're— perfect. _

  
  


Instead, he gives his shoulder a reassuring pat, saying, “It’s okay, I believe in you. You’ll do just fine.” Though, the change in behavior has him wondering, where did all that earlier confidence go? The one standing in front of Kihyun seems so different from the person Minhyuk made him out to be and the chic demeanor he showed.   
  
  


“Sit down?” Kihyun carefully kneels down and pats the floor beside him. Still hesitant, Changkyun does as told anyway. _It’s like taming an animal,_ Kihyun thinks. He grabs a brush from his equipment and begins painting him in smooth strokes following the lines of Changkyun’s face. Not everywhere, just the areas where it’ll be most prominent and stand out. At least, Changkyun relaxes bit by bit during the process, and just a few moments later, he’s back to his old self. Between the two of them, Kihyun has to be the one whose nerves are wracked.

  
  


Once everything is set up, the whole atmosphere changes. The homely, lived-in dorm becomes a scenery of the night, and Changkyun is illuminating under the glow of a lone lamplight. He’s facing away from Kihyun, exposing every freckle and beauty mark imprinted in the canvas of his figure.

  
  


The shadows casting silhouettes against his profile only serve to make him look seraphic, like an otherworldly creature, so precious and elegant. Kihyun takes it all in, the silver piercing on Changkyun’s left eyebrow, the black of his painted nails, the tattoos running along his back.

  
  


It’s a moment that deserves to be captured, printed out and framed. With a view as picturesque as that, it could earn a spot at The Louvre, but it could go well on Kihyun’s bedroom wall, too, maybe. Whichever works.

  
  


His mouth is as heavy as lead by the time Changkyun’s stare drifts to him. “Are you done, hyung?”

  
  


“No, not yet,” Kihyun swallows the lump in his throat as he lies through his teeth. “I’m still… finding the right angle.”

  
  


“Alright,” Changkyun hums, easily seeing through him. He’s nothing but a glass screen, so obvious and transparent, and just as brittle.

  
  


Angel? Nah, forget about that— He's certain that Changkyun's really an incubus masquerading as a human because of the coy look he gives, or it could just be the light playing tricks on him. He chalks it up to a lack of some proper shuteye and promises himself to sleep in for a few more hours next time.

  
  


That night, Kihyun spirals down a rabbit hole, imagines fitting his body with Changkyun’s, tracing his tongue against the ridges of his spine, and pressing bruises all over the marble-like skin of his hips, pulling dark chocolate moans from cherry lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Weekend nights now consist of kicking Changkyun’s ass in Overwatch, binge-watching Lucifer with him on his laptop, and getting takeout when they grow tired from all the idling around they’ve been up to. All he wants is some more time spent like this, but it’s proving to be a difficult task when recently he’s been feeling… strange, to say the least.

  
  


“It’s getting late,” Kihyun says as he starts stuffing their empty boxes of Chinese food in a plastic bag. “Are you sure it’s fine for you to stay any longer? Jooheon must be getting lonely waiting for you by now.”

  
  


“Are you kicking me out, hyung?” Changkyun pouts, and if it isn’t the cutest thing in the world, then Kihyun doesn’t know what is. He clutches the throw pillow he’s holding closer to his chest like he refuses to go anywhere. “I was thinking of spending the night here if you don’t mind.”

  
  


“Sorry,” Kihyun apologizes, and he really does feel regretful saying it, “but that’s a no. You’ve got class early tomorrow, don’t you?”

  
  


Just when he thought it couldn’t be possible, Changkyun pouts even more. “Of course you would know my schedule. This sucks, I wanted to have a sleepover with hyung…”

  
  


Despite the feeling of his heartstrings being tugged on, Kihyun manages to keep the tough guy act going, crossing his arms over his chest as imposingly as possible. “Im Changkyun,” he sternly says, “do I have to drag you out of this house? My decision is final.”

  
  


“Do I hear someone being an old prude or is it just my imagination?” Minhyuk chooses to walk in on them at that exact moment, standing by his bedroom door with a bag of chips in hand. He munches on them noisily as Kihyun groans and slumps onto the couch’s backrest.

  
  


“No,” Changkyun huffs. “You heard right.”

  
  


The creases between Kihyun’s eyebrows grow deeper as Minhyuk flashes him that smug grin of his. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying?”

  
  


“I was, until I caught wind of all your bitching.”  _ Crunch.  _ Another chip breaks in between Minhyuk’s teeth, and Kihyun is getting more and more fed up by the second. With a deep sigh, Changkyun abruptly stands up, slinging his backpack onto one shoulder.

  
  


“Fine,” he says. “I’m going home for today. But it’s only because I don’t want to impose on you guys any longer. You better let me sleep over next time, though!”

  
  


Kihyun hastily stands up after him, almost like he's chasing after a small animal. "Do you want me to drive you back? Hyungwon won't be home until later but his car's in the—"

  
  


"Hyung," Changkyun firmly says. "It's fine. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

  
  


And with that, he's out the door, leaving Kihyun to look back at him dumbfoundedly. 

  
  


Minhyuk can only shake his head at him, platinum blonde locks flopping about, making him look like an overgrown poodle. "Dude, you are so whipped."

  
  


Kihyun glares at him. "I hear one more word from you and I'm going to stuff that whole bag of Cheetos into your stupid mouth."

  
  


The threat is empty but Minhyuk knows Kihyun is capable of doing those things so he runs over to the safety of his room, but not before shouting, "Don't get mad at me for saying the truth!"

  
  


The door slams shut, and Kihyun is finally alone in the middle of their living room, letting out an enormous sigh whilst standing with his hands on his hips. He does a full 360° sweep of the area and concludes that it's about as filthy as a dumpster in here.

  
  


Cleaning up turns out to be the least of his problems, though, because the only thing that remains in his mind is Changkyun and his strangely attractive pout.

  
  
  


-•-

  
  
  


It's one of those rare days when Kihyun's schedule actually matches up with most of his friends, so they take this opportunity to go out for lunch together, at that tiny hole in the wall noodle place tucked away in the alley behind their university.

  
  


There's only five of them this time because Jooheon and Changkyun apparently still have to attend  _ 'that damn Korean literature class that no one really cares for but have to go to anyway because the lecturer is one strict motherfucker.' _ (Jooheon had some strong feelings regarding useless elective subjects, as it turns out. Who would've known?)

  
  


For the most part, their conversation seemed harmless, even typical, at first. They talked about regular, ordinary occurrences in their day-to-day life: Hyunwoo got caught eating an entire Subway sandwich at the back of a lecture— Again. Hyungwon got confessed to by a first-year girl for the fifth time this week. Hoseok bawled his eyes out while marathoning Disney movies.

  
  


Except, when it was Minhyuk's turn to speak, he dropped a bomb that no one in the group was expecting.

  
  


“Kihyun has a crush,” he blurted out, and that information appeared to be new and quite frankly, disturbing to everyone, because they all look up from their food, horrified. 

  
  


Hyungwon points his chopsticks at Minhyuk and narrows his eyes. "Now, wait just a goddamn minute here. You're telling us that Kihyun's actually capable of romance?" 

  
  


With a look of surprise on his face that's almost comical, Hoseok gasps scandalously and says, "I thought he didn't do relationships anymore after that thing with Yoong—"

  
  


"We don't talk about that anymore," Hyunwoo interrupts, shoving a piece of gimbap into Hoseok's mouth.

  
  


_ Oh, god.  _ Kihyun feels his head splitting with their chaotic reactions. In some sense of the word, it was true. A crush meant an admiration, an idolization for someone else, and Kihyun would be lying if he said that he wasn't even a little bit enamored by Changkyun. But it was too early to decipher what exactly it was he's feeling for Changkyun and his past relationships have caused him to doubt whether or not he should keep on taking, whether or not if he's truly worthy of what's being given to him.

  
  


"The hell are you even talking about," Kihyun stammered. He poked at the plateful of japchae in front of him to distract from the embarrassment.

  
  


"What are you, in primary school?" Hyungwon quipped through his mouthful of naengmyeon.

  
  


"It's true," Minhyuk nodded vigorously, perhaps to convince everyone at the table as well. "I've seen the way he looks at Changkyun, and he talks about him all the time, too! Every time, it's always Changkyun this, Changkyun that! Honestly, I'm getting tired of—"

  
  


His tirade was cut off short by Hoseok wailing in a high-pitched voice. "You like Changkyun?!" A few other people in the restaurant look at them weird, and Hyunwoo bows his head apologetically. 

  
  


Hyungwon hissed at Kihyun vehemently. "Yoo Kihyun, you are shameless. Just you wait 'til Jooheonie gets a load of this. He'll beat your ass for making moves on his best friend."

  
  


At this point, Kihyun doesn't even care about all the noise they're making. He smacked his palm to his head and yelled, "For God's sake, I'm not making moves on him!"

  
  


"Oh, but soon you will be," Hyunwoo helpfully supplied. He earned a slap to the arm courtesy of Hoseok, as if he's the only one here with a guilty conscience and isn't laughing about this.

  
  


Kihyun sighs, rubbing at his temples. "Enough with that," he chides, changing the direction of the topic away from his nonexistent love affair. “I’m not really into someone or anything like that.”

  
  


“You say it as if it’s some kind of disease,” Hyungwon scoffs. 

  
  


Kihyun keeps himself busy by finishing up the rest of his food. If he acknowledges this feeling, he's afraid that he'll lose control again and blow everything out of proportion. It always ended badly with his exes. He had been too jealous, they said, too controlling, too suffocating and too overbearing. Kihyun should really stop dating those devil-may-care types. He's always been drawn to people that drift like the wind, but all he wants is to keep them by his side. He's afraid that if he lets them out of his sight for even a second, they'll run off somewhere far, far away.

  
  


For once, Hoseok isn't absorbed in his bowl of ramen. He's looking over at Kihyun worriedly, eyebrows drawn up and a soft smile. "Don’t be shy, Kihyun-ah," he says. "It’s just a crush, right? That's normal, it happens to everybody.”

  
  


It's inexplicable, but for some reason, Hoseok's the only person that Kihyun would bare his vulnerabilities to without a second thought. It's most likely because out of all of them, he's the one with a bleeding-heart mentality, he's sensitive like Kihyun is, but he expresses it so unabashedly, and Kihyun holds that in high respect.

  
  


("Hyung," Kihyun tells him later as they walk side by side back to the campus, "I'm not sure what I should do."

  
  


Hoseok pulled him close with a heavy arm around his shoulders. "Kihyun-ah, sometimes you have to give your mind a break from making the complicated decisions." 

  
  


He took his index finger and prodded at a spot on the left side of Kihyun's chest. It hurts deep inside, but not because of Hoseok. "Sometimes, you have to use this. Let your heart handle it. You may look like a fool, but at least you're doing what you have to do. All of us have desires, now you just have to follow yours."

  
  


Kihyun doesn't entirely get it, but all he knows is that there's a deep hollowness within him, emptying him up slowly but surely.)

  
  
  


-•-

  
  
  


By the next time Kihyun bumps into Jooheon in the hallways, he's expecting him to already have heard the news.  _ You know, the one where he's hopelessly, head-over-heels for Jooheon's best friend?  _ Kihyun prepares himself for the worst, maybe a punch to the face for being a bastard, but it never comes.

  
  


“Yo, K-dawg!” Jooheon trudges over for a high five, but Kihyun merely stops in his tracks and stares at him, horrified.

  
  


“Please never call me that again."

  
  


“Sorry,” Jooheon laughs. “I keep forgetting you’re called  _ Young Flexer _ now.” Kihyun sputters. He gets drunk one time during a birthday party and now his friends won’t let him live the nickname down. When Jooheon’s done poking fun at him, his expression turns into something a little more serious. “You know,” he says, “Hyunwon-hyung told me about it.”

  
  


_ Ah. Here it is.  _ Kihyun scratches his head. “I don’t—” he starts, but his voice sounds all ragged so he clears his throat first. “Jooheonie, I don’t really have any bad intentions with him. Promise.” 

  
  


Jooheon smiles. “I’m not worried about Changkyun. I’m more worried about you, hyung.”

  
  


Kihyun blinks. “Me? Why?” It doesn’t make any sense. If anyone’s the good guy here, it’s definitely not Kihyun. Jooheon paces around listlessly, like he’s searching for the right thing to say. “How do I put this…” he mumbles. “Do you want to go out for some drinks?”

  
  


Between the two of them, Jooheon is the church boy and Kihyun was never a straight edge type of guy even though neither of them look like it. Which is why Kihyun has to do a double-take when Jooheon asks him. “That’s rare, you usually immediately run off at the mention of alcohol. What’s gotten into you?” 

  
  


“I think it’ll be easier for us to talk that way.”

  
  


“Will the other guys be there?” Knowing his friends, the involvement of booze usually calls for an intervention, but he asks anyway. So it surprises him when Jooheon ends up answering, “No, it’ll be just you and me.” 

  
  


There’s no reason for Kihyun to refuse. Why spend the next morning catching up on sleep when he can just stay up with Jooheon for hours and hours and hours while draining bottles of soju down to the last drop? In truth, maybe Kihyun just wants someone to spill all his problems to.

  
  


Kihyun checks his phone. “My classes end at five.” 

  
  


“Great. See you at the usual place, then.” Jooheon waves at him before walking towards the opposite direction of the hall.

  
  


Three hours later, they meet up in the barbecue place hidden in one of the nearby backstreets. Hyunwoo and Hoseok had discovered this place together, and all of them have been frequenting it ever since. They haven’t even sat down when Jooheon’s already trying to leech off on Kihyun’s wallet. “Hyung, I want the sesame squid and some beef tripe.”

  
  


Kihyun takes a quick peek at it.  _ Ah, whatever.  _ He should have enough savings left for the rest of the month. No price is too expensive if Jooheon’s offering him a bit of his sagely words of wisdom. Believe it or not, his reputation precedes him because he’s gotten Kihyun out of a mess where he almost got suspended for giving some dude a black-eye. (Long story.) The kid’s got his ways around the world.

  
  


Their orders arrive fast, it’s one reason why they always end up going to this place besides the fact that it’s not packed with people. Jooheon’s watching Kihyun intently as he pours glasses of soju for both of them. “So,” he began, “you want to take Changkyun away from me?” Kihyun chokes on his first sip.

  
  


“That’s not—”

  
  


“Interesting.” Kitchen scissors aren’t necessarily that sharp but Kihyun’s beginning to worry for his safety as Jooheon cuts the galbi into strips with a certain intensity in his eyes. “Have I told you how he manages to include you in every single topic of conversation we had?“

  
  


“Uh,” Kihyun replies smartly. “Definitely not.”

  
  


Jooheon snorts. “I’m just fucking with you. I’m right here with you two, every step of the way. Though, the thing with Changkyun is really no joke. All he has on his mind recently is you.”

  
  


Kihyun slumps back on his seat, relieved. “This brat... You had me there for a second.” In all seriousness, though, if Jooheon didn’t approve of them, then he would give up on Changkyun completely. Kihyun doesn’t want to bring trouble to anyone. He’s done with only thinking about himself. Absolutely done with that. Kihyun leans in and entwines his hands together on the table. “Tell me, O Almighty Joohoney, what’s my next step?”

  
  


Jooheon pretends to think for a second, stroking his chin. “Hmm, yes, I see. You’re lost. You’re afraid. You’re wondering if you’re reading the signs wrong.”

  
  


“Go on.” Kihyun folds his arms across his chest, nodding. The possibility of Changkyun feeling the same for him might be a 50/50, but he can make ends meet if he picks up on all these hints.  _ Probably. _

  
  


As he awaits Jooheon’s final verdict, the brat has the audacity to take an unbearably long sip of his drink. Kihyun snags a piece of tripe off his plate. He paid for those, anyway. It proves effective as Jooheon hastily wipes his chin and positions his side dishes further from Kihyun. “What I’m saying is, take a chance on it,” he says. “You never know if someone likes you back.”

  
  


“Of course,” Kihyun huffs, looking to the ceiling. “My big takeaway from this is that you all think I’m a wimp and that I should get on with it.”

  
  


Jooheon shrugs. “Pretty much. It’s just that simple, really.”

  
  


It’s annoying, but he’s right.  _ It really is just that fucking simple.  _ What a big deal he’s made this out to be. It isn’t that serious. He’s— for a lack of a better term, experiencing  _ gravitation _ . Let's just say that Changkyun is the Sun and Kihyun is a planet that revolves around his axis. In other words, Kihyun is totally screwed.

  
  


“Get us another round of drinks,” he tells Jooheon with a shake of his head. “I’m paying for it.”

  
  
  


-•-

  
  
  


Apparently, telling someone  _ ‘you look good when you’re on your knees’ _ isn't an effective compliment. Changkyun, who is on the receiving end of this remark from Kihyun, tells him as such. “That won’t work on anyone, if I’m being completely honest.”

  
  


So far, they’ve accomplished a whole lot in just a few weeks. Kihyun’s already seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, his test shots with Changkyun have been going swimmingly well, and it all feels like it’s building up to this moment right now.

  
  


Kihyun adjusts the focus on his lens, looking directly at the display so he won’t have to make eye-contact with Changkyun. “I,” he stressed, “wasn’t paying attention. It was just a slip of the tongue.” 

  
  


"Maybe you'd pay more attention if you didn't look at my ass all the time," Changkyun replied, even as he tilted his chin ever so slightly to the right and blended in at a practiced manner with the backdrop of several translucent silk curtains draped artfully on the wall.

  
  


“Shut up, hold still,” Kihyun reprimanded. “Okay. That pose looks nice.”

  
  


Changkyun’s eyes flitted over directly to Kihyun’s, and not at the camera where he’s supposed to look. "Don't I look nice in any position, though?” He makes flirting seem so easy, like a spring breeze passing through an open meadow, but Kihyun wants to focus and get this project done by today. He has to. He wills himself to think about lighting and composition, not the lines of Changkyun’s muscles and his unmarked skin. 

  
  


It’s nearing dusk now, the sky casting pink and orange clouds outside, filtering through the windows. The studio they were shooting at was this spacious room in the campus, mainly used for industrial design classes every other day but otherwise unoccupied. Kihyun made it into his own personal space for the past two weeks, trying to arrange all the elements into one big picture, only to be unsatisfied by the results and start over again from scratch. But it feels just right this time around, the image seems to develop itself naturally, flowing steadily until it coalesces.

  
  


Changkyun tips his head back, and the eventide envelops him wholly, emitting a penumbra of sorts on the edge of his features. 

  
  


Kihyun’s finger against the shutter button is unsteady. When he speaks, his voice comes out as nothing but a low whisper. “I think we’ve got it. This is the best-looking shot.”

  
  


Changkyun walks over to him— or, more like, crawls on his hands and knees, carefully approaching Kihyun who’s now sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Can I see it?” he asks, touch light on Kihyun’s arm. Kihyun tilts the camera to his side so Changkyun can see the display, a faint smile playing on the corner of his lips. “Wow,” Changkyun laughs. “I look like a Greek painting or something. You really are amazing, hyung.”

  
  


“Hey.” Kihyun’s gaze softens. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

  
  


Changkyun flops down on the floor with his limbs outstretched like a starfish. His stomach rises and falls with every puff of laughter from his mouth, a resonant melody in the empty studio. "So, we're finally finished?"

  
  


Kihyun inches a little bit closer to him. "Do you want it to be?"

  
  


The tips of Changkyun’s fingers find his, electricity pulsing when they touch. "No, not at all."

"Then, what do you want to do?"

  
  


Changkyun sits up, meeting his eyes. "We could get back to my dorm? Jooheon-hyung won’t be back until morning. It’ll only be the two of us. And, um, if you kept me company, that’d make me really happy…"

  
  


An internal war is happening between Kihyun's two moral sides; one insists that  _ 'this is a bad decision' _ while the other urges him to give in to his yearning. In the end, his selfishness wins over and Kihyun allows himself to have this, if only for once.

  
  


He takes a deep breath. "We could do that, too."

  
  


The walk from the campus to the dorm buildings are just a few minutes away, but it seems like an eternity as they cross the quadrangle, Changkyun’s hands tangled in between Kihyun’s. Changkyun’s still covered in pigment and glitter, most likely staining the worn, spare clothes he’s wearing. None of it matters, though, they’re propelled by an ecstatic thrill to simply be alone and claim each other. 

  
  


It doesn't seem so innocent anymore, after that.

  
  


They barely get into the dorm, and yet, they’re already kissing impatiently. Their clothes make a cluttered trail as they stumble to the bathroom. Kihyun’s cornering Changkyun to the wall, his back flat on the cold tiles. A warm spray of water rains down on them, and Kihyun pulls Changkyun flush against his body. The paint washes off from Changkyun's skin, swirls into the drain like crushed stars, amber snowflakes melting away into oblivion. Within seconds, his neck is once again a blank piece of paper, waiting to be etched on. It's warm against the surface of Kihyun's tongue, tender between the sharpness of his teeth. Marked a shade of red when he releases. 

  
  


Never has Changkun looked better than at this instance right now, and Kihyun is drawn in without effort. “Has anyone ever told you how impossibly pretty you are?” he asks, grinning into the divot between his collarbones.

  
  


“I,  _ ah— _ get that a lot,” Changkyun tries to say in between moans.

  
  


“Still so full of yourself even during foreplay, I see.” Kihyun’s hand drifts down to the back of Changkyun’s thigh, lifting it so he can wrap his leg around Kihyun’s waist. 

  
  


One of Changkyun’s arms is clinging onto Kihyun’s back, the other reaching up to tousle his soaked hair. “Bet you’d know that better than anyone else,” he drawled out, before they’re lost in each other’s contiguity again.

  
  


Kihyun takes him right there in the shower, then once again on Changkyun’s bed. The horizon has turned into a dark indigo by the time they’re done, and now Kihyun is laying peacefully on his side, Changkyun curled up tightly beside him. They catch their breath in tandem, and when Changkyun turns to move, Kihyun shakes his head and holds him back.

  
  


"Just for a while more," he says, but doesn't know how long they stay together like that. Perhaps seconds, or minutes, maybe hours. The fracture of time becomes unbending under the weight of their passion. It remains still, undisturbed, crystallized as a freeze-frame inside Kihyun's head.

  
  


They speak in hushed, low tones 'til dawn about anything and everything, Changkyun still undressed, lit cigarette in his hand dangling atop his knee blowing smoke, white blanket loosely draped against his frame threatening to slip if he were to do so much as to move an inch.

  
  


Kihyun takes a photograph of Changkyun in his mind, one for his eyes only. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO sorry for this long overdue update... but i will finish this fic, i've got the whole thing mapped out and everything, it's just that the words fail me sometimes. anyway, thank you so much for reading, everyone! 💗

**Author's Note:**

> life has been so hectic and pretty dramatic lately and i've got a lot of wips to write but i humbly present this changki to you all. title is from the black skirts - hollywood
> 
> thank u. kudos n comments motivate me a lot. here's my [shameless plug](https://twitter.com/ahwaeee)


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